“Godspeak” or How to NOT sound like a Christian Douchebag
Many people I know: please note and apply to your life. kthx
Have you ever had a friend who was completely normal until they suddenly “found Jesus”. Mostly it involves a complete change of speech. I call it “Godspeak”.
One day I’m looking at someone’s Facebook profile full of Dane Cook jokes, and the next they’ve got it jam packed with excerpts from The Bible and words like “Blessed”, “Grace”, “Joy”, and capitalized pronouns.
I truly do believe it is completely possible to believe in something without spewing out all the bullshit. I have known people for years and have never heard them speak in such a way, until out of nowhere it’s like they’ve copied and pasted a paragraph out of a “How To Be A Christian” textbook.
I translated a few quotes to show the ease of being non-lame.
1. God loves me, Jesus saved me, the Holy Spirit leads me…and I deserve none of it.
Life is great, guys, what did I ever do to deserve this?2. God has continued to bless our relationship every step of the way!! He takes me by surprise all the time..showing me qualities that sometimes I didnt even think existed in the male species, but they do, and I LOVE him!!!=) I thank God everyday for the life that I lead and the Grace that He sheds upon me.
My boyfriend is the best! How did I ever find such a nice guy? Somebody must’ve been looking out for me ;)3. I am sorry to anyone that I ever hurt or offended… I had become someone that I never wanted to be… but thank God I am back in His control. I strive to be a kinder more spirit filled person, and want my character to be full of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, and self control.
Wow. I can’t believe what a jerk I’ve been my whole life. If I ever hurt you, I’m sorry. I never meant to be that way. I’m ready to change and make it right. I’m really trying, so please tell me if I’m ever being an asshole.4. I’m in love with God. holla.
There is nothing wrong with this. This is perfect.5. This is where God wants me for the time being, and so here I am. Beyond that, I’m trusting in Him.
I’m here for now, but I’ll go wherever life takes me, ‘cause I know everything will work out in the end!You get the idea. I’m done.
